Friday, September 2, 2011


I know that Huntsman isn't the front-runner right now. He's not even the middle-, sort-of-hanging-in-there-, or dragging-himself-across-the-ground-in-desperation-runner. (Okay, maybe he is that last one). As of late, Huntsman is somewhere between the crazies (read: GOP elite) and  the minority pizza guy. You know,the guy who makes it okay for the Republicans to say, "Hey, we're diverse, too!"

BUT! There's still a reason to talk about him:

He's easy pickins.

I mean, seriously: a former Governor and Ambassador who, as a moderate conservative, enjoyed incredibly high approval ratings while leading the reddest state in the nation to lower unemployment, lower state debt, and more moderate immigration and civil union policies, all while remaining completely faithful to his wife and not worrying about enriching himself through shady land deals? WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!

Who's left in the field that hasn't shown this guy up with their affairs, use of government knowledge for land deals , explosion of state debt, or delicious pizza?

Oh yeah, he's not insane either? Strike seventy-four.

Moderation is for giant sissy-men.

At this point, you must be wondering how I could possibly do any more damage to him that hasn't already been done?

Easy. I am incapable of controlling my bowels, can't even grab my toes let along a signing pen, mumble and drool incoherently, and break down crying and yelling when I'm not picked up.

Shoot, I think I just outdid the whole field.

While napping.


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