Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Disastrous Earthquake on the East Coast

I just wanted to make sure people knew how compassionate and responsive I am to major natural disasters.

George W. Bush showed up late to Katrina, a devastatingly poor show of leadership that cost lives and slowed recovery.

Obama showed up kinda sorta on time to the oil spill in the Gulf and to the tornado damage in Joplin. Still, he only managed to show up AFTER the fact. Such a lack of foresight. Who does he think he is?

I, however, was in Richmond, VA a WEEK AGO, comforting people, allowing them to hold me and be entertained by my ridiculous cuteness, and assuring them that only a few yogurt cups, lawn chairs, and canned goods would be knocked over by the earthquake. My leadership saved a lot of worry. I will also take credit for lessening the impact of the quake by a full point on the Richter scale.

If elected President, this is the type of prescient leadership you can expect. And cuteness. And reduction in Richter scale impact of earthquakes.

You listening, California?


  1. I want this baby in office, STAT.

  2. i second that. haha this is awesome. i loved all those pics in the lawn chair link. 19 was my favorite because the painted figure in the painting behind the dangling painting looks like he or she is distressed, squished under the painting, requesting for aid to get out... anyway,

    Liam for president!